I've been internally drafting this post for a while. Still not sure I have it quite right.
I woke up crying the other night due to the sadness and stress that surround us right now. Multiple friends and family are suffering with the tragic loss of children. My heart breaks for them. I hesitate to share my news because I want to honor this moment in their lives. Honor their grief. Allow them the energy and emotional support of those closest to us and not "steal their thunder" with our new business.
However it is the awareness of their horrible changes that cause me stress. Am I to follow in those footsteps? Any mother will tell you that hearing birth stories that only fit under the title "horror" keep them awake at night. I try to put the fear to sleep but as we are currently uninsured, the fear only grows in the wee hours of the morning. But I cannot keep this secret any longer. I need the positive support of my circle as we add another member to our family.
Baby Dalton #2 will make an appearance mid-August, hopefully without any complications, interventions or fear.
So far things are normal. I have no logical reason to fear.
The majority of these pregnancy struggles I mentioned were unknown until later in the pregnancy. Without insurance, we may not be able to afford the ultrasound to settle my nerves. An older coworker of mine was telling me this week that when his babies were born it was $200 a birth (extra $50 to circumcise the boys.) His insurance covered all of it but the phone and tv which totaled ten dollars. Ten Dollars! Can you imagine having an overnight stay at the hospital and only paying $10?!?! How this country has changed in 60 years!
We have not exhausted every option. Peter has just received a raise and hopefully insurance. Thankfully the affordable health care act makes it illegal for insurance companies to refuse coverage for preexisting conditions. We still have ways to calm the financial stress of perinatal care. Thank you, Obama. (We make too much for Medicaid but not enough to afford private insurance, requiring one of our employers to provide an avenue for this in our lives. *Keeping fingers crossed*)
I see a midwife this week and know I will find some level of peace during that appointment. Midwives are good at bringing peace.
My current job is proving supportive, unlike last time, so at least the fear of discrimination and loss of funds is lifted.
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afterthoughts: I wrote this about 2 weeks ago and have since visited the birth center and told our parents of the coming bundle. Stress level immediately went down after committing my thoughts to print. Everything seems normal so far and I look forward to updating you all with our progress and hopefully the joy of acquiring insurance! Oh the Joys of First World Problems!
Monday, March 25, 2013
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Another day at home
Since its the season, we dyed eggs.
The recent backyard cleaning saw the return of the hot tub, which caused a small fire when turned on and melted the wet connector. Since we are having company next week, it was imperative that this plug be replaced. I do think it could have waited until tomorrow when the storm had passed, but apparently he won't have time tomorrow since I'll be at work and he'll be on kid duty. Now to give a chicken a bath...
 |
| She was so excited it was hard to keep her in focus! |
The recent backyard cleaning saw the return of the hot tub, which caused a small fire when turned on and melted the wet connector. Since we are having company next week, it was imperative that this plug be replaced. I do think it could have waited until tomorrow when the storm had passed, but apparently he won't have time tomorrow since I'll be at work and he'll be on kid duty. Now to give a chicken a bath...
Monday, March 18, 2013
Spring Cleaning
After a windy weekend in the 80s, it was definitely time to get the starter plants in the ground, clean out the shed the chickens have been sleeping in and basically get our backyard ready for summer! Now if our chickens would let some of the grass grow our yard of frozen, sunburnt greens will start to look like the overgrown jungles of our neighbors...
Next up: cleaning and filling the hot tub!
Next up: cleaning and filling the hot tub!
Thursday, March 14, 2013
Party time!
It was a good day. (I tried to load this last week and just now realized it got stuck in the interwebs and never went anywhere. Trying again.)
Thursday, February 28, 2013
.this moment.
Right now I am...
* praying the chickens recover from their respiratory issues and we can go back to eating eggs
* Listening to Emagene tell me about Tinkerbell
* thinking of all the last minute party shopping to be done
* hoping the weather forcast for Saturday's event keeps improving
* feeling the chill in my toes
* looking at a massive pile of laundry
* noticing the return of the blue jays
* dreaming about garden activities to be enjoyed once the birthday party is a thing of the past
* drinking my fifth glass of water since waking 4 hours ago. Yay for hydration!
* remembering the To Do list and not getting overwhelmed
* being literally pushed out of my chair by a child excited to get on with day.
* wishing you a wonderful day!
Preparing for a party
It's my girls birthday today. Saturday she will be celebrating the completion of her third year. As I shared recently, she wants a Minnie-themed party. Here are some of photos of the prep work for this late winter garden party.
Monday, February 18, 2013
inner workings of my brain, part 2
Last time I shared a tiny bit of my spiritual journey. (If you missed that post, you can see it here.) I started here because I believe that how one defines the mystical or spiritual element of life dictates how one views pretty much everything else. In short, I needed to share a piece of my foundation with you before I started sharing all the branches that make up my tree of life. To go into the details of my foundation would be like describing all the particles in soil. Its not necessarily an enjoyable, or helpful, read and should probably be limited to conversations over beer or on a shrink's sofa, either way keeping some things out of print.
That said, here is a tiny bit more.
I was homeschooled. Those of you in my age bracket understand the stereotype that came with that statement in the early 90s: socially awkward, quiet little church-mouse, overly protected and/or sheltered, etc. This stereotype, while not in itself is necessarily a negative, does not fairly fit all homeschoolers. It is nonetheless what most people I've encountered think of when they hear "homeschool." Fortunately, some of you in my age bracket are spending a great deal of time and energy changing that stereotype and considering - or doing- homeschooling for your own children. Because of this shift, homeschooling itself has changed. Multiple varieties of "doing school" have become the norm. While not everyone comprehends all aspects of each variety, the fact that homeschooling is discussed at large is a huge step forward from when I was teased about it as a kid.*
So with this new perspective, I've given up my vow of never homeschooling my kid in exchange for a dedication to reevaluate our options every year. Currently, I guess you could say we are "Unschooling." A regular week for us includes art projects, sewing projects, cooking, grocery shopping, chores, board games, reading, playdates, animal care, gardening and mickey's clubhouse. If I took the time to separate all this into government approved subject headings, as some states require homeschooling parents to do, we're covering all the basics of school curriculum. Once the weather warms up we'll get back in the pool and see if swimming lessons are needed. This kind of let's try it and see what happens mentality is the basic curiosity that we are all born with. I don't want to squash it by adding deadlines to learning just yet. So we take it one day, month, year at a time and do our best to be present, while thinking of the future, and see what happens. We ask a lot of questions and search out answers together. We spend too much time in front of the tv for a few days and then spend the next few days or weeks doing everything that crosses our path. From what I've read, that's fairly standard human behavior for first world homeschoolers.
Coupled with my spiritual belief that a specific religious expression doesn't work for everyone, Unschooling also believes that a set way of learning doesn't work for everyone. We all learn and remember the subjects we are interested in. Spending years grinding on subject matter because someone says it's important but it is not interesting is a disservice to children who are built to run around, explore, touch, smell and be thoroughly immersed in their curiosity. My goal is to keep this love of life alive in my child and give ourselves the freedom to admit when this approach to learning isn't working for us anymore. I assume that around the middle school years, when the overwhelming need to feel included in a peer group starts to surface, we may start looking into homeschool co-ops, reevaluate the happenings within the public (government run) school system, or really encouraging sports or fine arts classes. If I were to guess today what those arts and sports would be I would say guitar lessons, dance classes and swim team. But I'm open to interest shifts ;)
-------------------------------
If you're interested in learning more about Unschooling, pick up a book written by John Holt (Like this one) or the Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith.
You may also find this website interesting: http://www.holtgws.com/unschooling.html
For more on homeschooling in general check out this empowering overview The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child, by Linda Dobson.
* My sincere hope is that I did not offend anyone with my take on how I was stereotyped growing up. Homeschooling can and is for anyone who wants to make it work, no matter their view on life, opinion of proper public etiquette of children or religious affiliation. I am extremely grateful that this is no longer the picture that jumps to the forefront when the word "homeschooler" is thrown around as I spent a great deal of energy trying to "prove" myself as a outgoing, fun-loving, open-minded artist in a hugely middle-class Christian suburb. I was so adament that people knew the Real Me and not Me the Homeschooler that I often didn't tell people I was homeschooled to save myself the trouble of having to disprove the stereotype. That said, anyone can do anything, if they put their mind to it, including homeschooling your kiddos.
That said, here is a tiny bit more.
I was homeschooled. Those of you in my age bracket understand the stereotype that came with that statement in the early 90s: socially awkward, quiet little church-mouse, overly protected and/or sheltered, etc. This stereotype, while not in itself is necessarily a negative, does not fairly fit all homeschoolers. It is nonetheless what most people I've encountered think of when they hear "homeschool." Fortunately, some of you in my age bracket are spending a great deal of time and energy changing that stereotype and considering - or doing- homeschooling for your own children. Because of this shift, homeschooling itself has changed. Multiple varieties of "doing school" have become the norm. While not everyone comprehends all aspects of each variety, the fact that homeschooling is discussed at large is a huge step forward from when I was teased about it as a kid.*
So with this new perspective, I've given up my vow of never homeschooling my kid in exchange for a dedication to reevaluate our options every year. Currently, I guess you could say we are "Unschooling." A regular week for us includes art projects, sewing projects, cooking, grocery shopping, chores, board games, reading, playdates, animal care, gardening and mickey's clubhouse. If I took the time to separate all this into government approved subject headings, as some states require homeschooling parents to do, we're covering all the basics of school curriculum. Once the weather warms up we'll get back in the pool and see if swimming lessons are needed. This kind of let's try it and see what happens mentality is the basic curiosity that we are all born with. I don't want to squash it by adding deadlines to learning just yet. So we take it one day, month, year at a time and do our best to be present, while thinking of the future, and see what happens. We ask a lot of questions and search out answers together. We spend too much time in front of the tv for a few days and then spend the next few days or weeks doing everything that crosses our path. From what I've read, that's fairly standard human behavior for first world homeschoolers.
Coupled with my spiritual belief that a specific religious expression doesn't work for everyone, Unschooling also believes that a set way of learning doesn't work for everyone. We all learn and remember the subjects we are interested in. Spending years grinding on subject matter because someone says it's important but it is not interesting is a disservice to children who are built to run around, explore, touch, smell and be thoroughly immersed in their curiosity. My goal is to keep this love of life alive in my child and give ourselves the freedom to admit when this approach to learning isn't working for us anymore. I assume that around the middle school years, when the overwhelming need to feel included in a peer group starts to surface, we may start looking into homeschool co-ops, reevaluate the happenings within the public (government run) school system, or really encouraging sports or fine arts classes. If I were to guess today what those arts and sports would be I would say guitar lessons, dance classes and swim team. But I'm open to interest shifts ;)
-------------------------------
If you're interested in learning more about Unschooling, pick up a book written by John Holt (Like this one) or the Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith.
You may also find this website interesting: http://www.holtgws.com/unschooling.html
For more on homeschooling in general check out this empowering overview The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child, by Linda Dobson.
* My sincere hope is that I did not offend anyone with my take on how I was stereotyped growing up. Homeschooling can and is for anyone who wants to make it work, no matter their view on life, opinion of proper public etiquette of children or religious affiliation. I am extremely grateful that this is no longer the picture that jumps to the forefront when the word "homeschooler" is thrown around as I spent a great deal of energy trying to "prove" myself as a outgoing, fun-loving, open-minded artist in a hugely middle-class Christian suburb. I was so adament that people knew the Real Me and not Me the Homeschooler that I often didn't tell people I was homeschooled to save myself the trouble of having to disprove the stereotype. That said, anyone can do anything, if they put their mind to it, including homeschooling your kiddos.
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