Friday, December 1, 2017

Wonder in the Daily Rituals of Life

For a while now I have been going through the motions, living the habits I had built around heart-felt, science-backed beliefs, practices and approaches that were creatively added to my life with a purpose, but not truly putting my heart into it any more. I was surviving my life in the best way I knew how and getting through each day. Doing my best to keep as much magic alive in the childhoods of my children but struggling to keep my own source of power filled and empowered. It has been an exhausting few years. When I first left this space, I was in a place where i didn't believe I had anything "worth" putting on the internet. Have you seen what's on the internet? Basically everything you can imagine: Good, Bad, Ugly, Beautiful and everything in between. I don't have to, nor do i want to, compete with everything thats out there. My truth is still valid, even if I think its not flashy enough. Enough for what? to be worthy? of clicks? that's not what I am after. I didn't create this space to make money. I don't find any joy in selling anything. I find joy in doing. Doing work, doing art, doing movement, the creative part of making something not the final goal. So, here I am saying it out loud on the internet: I like the act of writing. Of rewriting and editing. Of conversation. Of clarifying thoughts. This space was intended to be a more open-minded, open-hearted space than Facebook allows for to share the stories of my life while I lived far away from my family and dear friends. I have returned to my family (the ones I craved the most have crossed over since my moving back) and the dear friends I was away from, however, I have met many more wonderful souls who have scattered to the far corners of the globe and I will always miss their daily interactions and the conversations we had that rewired our brains, realinged our energy, rewrote our soul's truth into daily awareness. I have lifted my head up from the dredges of toddlerhood and noticed the souls I am living with need more from me. They need me to keep having these creative conversations with other likeminded souls so I am full of magical appreciation for this life and can help them remember why they are here. I don't know why they are here or what they came to do, I only know that I have been entrusted to guide them through this messy life and I have been a poor guide lately as I have been in a reactive state and not a responsive state. I am transitioning. I am remembering how to be gentle with myself and how to find the wonder in the daily rituals of life.

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