Cyber vs IRL

Tell me about the Insta-story? It's basically snapchat on Instagram, right? It's not like Facebook live where you can catch up and watch later if you take a few weeks off from social media, right? If you miss the story within 24 hrs it's gone, right? You missed out on part of whoever you're following's life because you took a break from whatever reason (I usually take breaks because I need to clean my house and hug my kids.)


So... How do we have real life interactions with people when we have to keep checking their live feeds and stories to "know what's up with them?" How do we learn to be kind, tactful and truthful when we're constantly seeking the connections we crave on a tiny screen? How can we learn to trust our selves when we are constantly distracted by the pizazz of another's way to do life?


Blech!


I'm all for having a cyber tribe. They're super helpful and lovely in times of isolation and distance, but I don't believe humans were meant to be isolated or to develop relationships with the world through a computer in their hand. I want an IRL (in real life) tribe who will get dirty in the woods, who will come over and bake or paint, whom my children will grow up knowing as safe people, role models and other trusted adults when mom's not available. I want backyard cookouts and singalongs. Those can't happen when we're all staring at our phones trying not to miss each other's lives. By doing that we are actually missing out on each other's lives! It's easy to type "I'll pray for you" but it takes work to bake a meal or clean the house of someone in need. It takes work to truly connect with other humans. And I get it, connecting can be messy. We have to apologize from time to time instead of pretending we didn't see the message that said we hurt someone's feelings. We have to roll up our sleeves and put our deeds behind our words for more than the 10 seconds it takes to snap a pic and post it. we get held accountable when we have IRL community, but its a beautiful thing to know those people also have your back should trouble find its way to your door.


I commit to working in my relationships IRL. Cultivating a tribe is just as much work, and therefore just as rewarding, as cultivating an herb garden. Each plant has a personality and a skill, each person in my life does too. How do we work together? Some of us grow well side by side daily, others are delicious when stirred together in healing teas or soups. Others need room to grow tall and spread out in order to gain the deep wisdom of a life lived in the clouds. I am thankful for our time together in stillness, embracing the cooling quiet moments in the shade, of the wisdom found in being still, together, and listening to loved ones in real life.


My Cyber tribe is all over the world, full of exotic spices and flair and I wouldn't trade them for anything! My IRL tribe suffers every time we move. They get pushed into Cyber tribe and i fear my Cyber tribe doesn't get to see the real me, the me that can only be seen by looking each other in the eyes, through all the many ways humans interact when in the same room: energetically, emotionally, telepathically, hormonally. I love the idea that when women are gathered together there is a natural release of oxytocin in the space. (I say "idea" because I haven't fully researched the claim and don't like to make scientific statements I can't backup. But still the idea is beautiful!) It so much harder to pretend that "thing" isn't bothering me when a trusted someone is looking me in the face. Its so much easier to hide behind a screen and pretend I got my shit together. You know what? I don't have my shit together. I don't think I ever have. I am constantly rearranging ideas and plans and modifying even up to GO time. It works to stay flexible sometimes, but to say I have my shit together would be a lie. And a trusted friend looking me in the face would be able to catch me in that lie much easier than in a text message or a well framed and edited Instagram post.


So I'm not gonna fake my life with you guys. I may not have my shit 100% together, I have piles of baggage to sort through and discard, I believe I will never stop growing, but I will keep coming back to myself (and hopefully this space) along the way and keep what is still working and throw out the rest. Unclutter your life, that's a hashtag movement, right? But my favorite is #unfaketheworld and that starts with un-faking me.


So cyber and IRL tribe, let's be real with each other. Social media, while helpful, can be distracting. Let's get there and see each other (especially this time of year when the darkness makes us feel even more alone than usual) and hold each up, practice active listening and truth-telling. Be together and feel your energy shift. There's magic when people get together in love (side note, love doesn't mean mushy, gooey, see-it-in-the-movies BS, it means mutual respect and adoration that genuinely cares for the other's well-being). Now text someone and make plans to walk in the park or get coffee or whatever you love to do that won't break your budget, just put down the phone and look them in the face!


Do it!

Why Hello!

Here I am, 2 and 1/2 years later! Lots of things have happened, in the world and in my personal life. The biggest I'd say is that we no longer live on a Texas Homestead (which was really just a city plot 2 blocks south of the highway that separated the town from the wilderness and farm plots). We returned to Oregon a year ago. That's right, we have been enjoying our first home as homeowners for a year now.  We bought a 100 year old house in a small town, walking distance to just about everything in the town. The house needed some immediate attention, and still needs lots of work, and so did my extended family. In the meantime, we homeschool the girls and love on the dog and the cat. We had added new chicks to our flock (half of which were enjoyed by Hawk) but then rehoused the girls with a friend before leaving Texas as moving the birds 2000 miles didn't seem worth the trouble. We have just started talking about adding some new feathered friends into the mix this next spring. Lots of construction plans in the near future.... Maybe I'll share some before and afters in the future. I have found dance again. The Mister is enjoying his new job (still flying planes) and the girls are as busy as ever dancing, riding horses, climbing on things, swimming, catching crawdads, etc.

To be honest, I paused working with this site because of the time commitment and my priorities had shifted to other things. In the back of my mind there was also a growing fear for my children's internet anonymity and safety. I am still hesitant to tell our stories in such an unguarded way as a blog, and so have focused on a heavily screened Instagram and Facebook account. But the storytelling! I miss the storytelling. I have never wanted to be a political writer or to write about things where I have to deal with internet trolls. So I paused. I wrote my stories in journals and to specific people on messenger and group texts. I have started escaping into the woods to dance and write poetry and reframe goddess myths in my own words. I have always enjoyed growing in private and, when i feel confident, inviting people to notice what I am doing now.

So, since I have come back here, I must have finished a breathing-in growth cycle (borrowing the idea from Waldorf educational theories) and am ready to breath out and interact with people in this way again. Or at least the interface of the blog-sphere. I have noticed I take less photos because I am sharing my life with the ones I missed so dearly while we were in Texas. Instead of needing to take photos to remember the stories so I can share them with lifelong Friends, Aunties and Grandparents, they are the ones involved in the memories. I am working to shift my habit and capture memories for the girls for later, when we want to look back and remember that silly afternoon at the museum/park/coffee shop with so-and-so and how different we all looked "back then."

I have some other deep thoughts and feeling just below the surface I want to share with all 12 of you who may find your way back to this blog. But I'm not quite ready to make those permanent additions to the inter webs just yet. Which always leads me to ask: Do my thoughts and feelings really need to be blasted all over the inter webs? Can sharing them face to face with a safe person or in my journal be enough? This space helped me through that rough part of transitioning to parenting two kids without much real life help, and now...what to make of this space? I have this place, how shall I use it??

Just checking in

Good morrow everyone! 

Spring break is upon us and you are overdo for a dalton family update!

Since our last meeting, we have been iced in, rained out, snowed on, iced again and now flooded as everything tried to thaw and dry out. And naturally, thunderstorms are on the horizon as we begin tornado season. Don't be surprised if you hear about dallas and Mosquitos in the news a lot this spring. It's gonna be a bad one.

That said, we planted our early spring crops just before the first freeze and everything survived! At least until the chickens jumped the fence, ate the kale and thinned out the lettuce. Everything else is going strong and I plan on getting the rest in the ground as soon as possible. Which is difficult for me as I have commitment issues with silly things like plants and stickers and scrap fabric. I mention this because we have started the process of buying a house. I loathe doing all the work of putting in an amazing, organic, square foot garden thoughtfully companion planted and rotated from last years planting just to leave it all for someone else who may not appreciate, or eat, any of the produce.

*Le sigh*

But with scrap fabric! I am bound and determined to turn this pile into a skirt, 3 dresses and a car seat cover! Hopefully I can get it all done before we find our new home.

Also, taking apart that bunk bed again is not on the top of My Fun Things To Do list. But at least the kids sleep in their room for a while now. 

Blessed Solstice

I was busy enjoying nature and nurturing relationships on the day, but better late then never. May you have a blessed solstice and enjoy this season as the sun wanes and the shorter days of winter approach. 

Blessed Be/Namaste

Signs of Summer's Beginning

A few nights ago, after we were tucked in, Artemis started barking. She usually barks for one of three reasons. Reason 1: there is some being (human, neighborhood cat, unfamiliar dog, skunk)) lurking near the front door (or knocking). Reason 2: there is some being (human, stray cat, the neighbors dog - or rather any dog she can see from our deck which could include the dogs walking along the side street 3 houses away- or skunk). Reason 3: someone is playing with her.  

Since I was fairly certain reason 3 wasn't encouraging her commotion, I had Pete get up and see what was going on. He stumbled around in the dark a bit and came back mumbling something about our cat. That was enough to let me fall asleep peacefully. 

The next morning, I got up with the baby and found a huge, 2 inch cockroach dead in my living room. I now think Artemis, being slightly blind, could hear the thing rustling about but was unable to catch it in the dark. No worries. It seemed thoroughly dead as it was just lying there on the carpet. 

I do want to pause and say a bit about me and bugs. I don't particularly care for them. This fear is mostly based on ignorance, something I am working to change, and the visceral shock of things flying at my face or scurrying over my feet.

 When I moved to Texas a few years ago, I was warned about the bird-sized Mosquitos, the massive grasshoppers and the giant roaches. I was told it wasn't a matter of IF we got roaches but more about WHEN and knowing who to call. In my time here, I have seen 3 roaches in my house (counting the star of this story). All in May. All huge. All quickly dead. The first was in my kitchen and scared me to death. We then proceeded with a spring cleaning like you can only imagine and the purchase of roach traps. The second was seen scurrying down the hall as i opened the door to let the dog out. Fortunately, there was a chicken in hot pursuit. This year's roach sighting was a little more animated.

My first thought after determining there was truly a roach in the house, was how to get it outside to a chicken. I had the baby and didn't particularly want to risk trying to catch it, cauung it to come back to life and just disappear. (Fear based on ignorance triggers more unnecessary fears.) So I went out for my trusted friendly chicken, Ferdy. She's always trying to come in the house anyway. Time for a treat! 

She's an easy one to wrangle, our Ferdy. Almost like a lovable kitten. With talons. Those two weeks bandaged in our tub made her quite the cuddler! So I scoop her up in one arm while holding the baby on my opposite hip and bring her into the house. I set her near the roach, but she's too distracted by being inside to notice. She wanders off to my room to chat with her reflection in my mirrored closet door as i grab a handful of birdseed. I get the bird, set her back near the roach and sprinkle seed on the carpet, clucking like i do anytime I'm distributing treats. She goes for the seeds, sees the roach, and crunches it down fast! After I let her get the seeds out of my carpet, I take her back outside to an audience of the other birds. You could almost see Ferdy strut out, boasting about her awesome trip to the indoor cockroach bar.

 In retrospect, I should've grabbed another bird who isn't hellbent on sneaking in the backdoor whenever possible, but she was the one I knew I could trust to save me from having to touch that nasty thing! So much for not encouraging behavior I don't want or not allowing habits I'll have to break later! 

 I have come to call these intimate moments with nature my Spring Roach Sighting and they serve as a sign the hot season has started. Time for beings to find a cool place to move before the mercury really spikes. I honestly can't blame them. The summers here are brutal!

 Emagene's friends graduated from   preschool, we took a trip to the city pool and we had a Roach Sighting. Summer is definitely upon us!

What non-calendar ways do you have for noticing the seasonal change?

Cycles of life

Driving to the airport where Pete works takes us through acres of livestock pasture, and past a shooting range (naturally), leaving a 1940 bungalow style farmhouse as the last piece of civilian life before hitting the Tarmac. A month or so ago, I got my only glimpse of the people living in the farmhouse. I witnessed an older man taking out the trash. He was hunched over, walking with a cane and dragging his red radio flyer wagon behind him loaded down with trash bags. 

I smiled. The driveway is easily a few hundred yards and here he was creatively conquering his bodily signs of aging. I went through that day feeling empowered.

Last weekend, I notice the yard between the farmhouse and the outbuilding/carport was full of furniture. My first thought was: "family reunion? Early Easter picnic on a 75F+ day in April?" But then I noticed the estate sale sign. My heart sank a little. Just a few weeks ago, I assume The Man of The House was inspiring me with his determination to keep living fully. Apparently that was his last hurrah working on his cattle ranch. Either that, or the tornado damaged the place enough a fixed income couple needn't to move, but I'm assuming things.

I wish my weekend had not been booked solid and I could have meandered through that sale and daydreamed of what the life of the inhabitants had been like; Seen relics from the years between the house construction and the airport's invention. But no matter, I'm still inspired to live fully in this body until it simy can't function any more. I wish them peace as they move to the next phase of their existence.

Beltane Thoughts... And cute chicks

Well folks, it's that time of year again. The sundresses are out but the cardigans appear at twilight. Days are spent at the park or lakeside and evenings are spent trying not to make dinner. Classic rock fills the soundtrack of the day and I long to drive through the hillside of someplace where I am not. I swing between maintaining the community we have spent the winter with, cultivating and growing those relationships into something meaningful for next winter while dreaming of summers past with amazing people I yearn to have back in my everyday.

And while I wish for more of the past in my future, I strive to live in the present, blending all three together. Planning road trips, camping trips and garden plots. Saving starts from frost and letting hens go broody. Congratulating the mister on a much deserved promotion that will help move us forward, and gritting my teeth as I prepare for another summer full of days over 100F. 

Ah, but right now, this moment, life is sweet. It is a time of fertility. Jobs are prospering, produce options are reflecting the return of the sun, children have returned outside. creativity is flourishing! New dresses, a dance recital, artsy photographs. To quote a favorite movie I watch every year at this time: It's all happening! And to bring all this new life and abundance permentantly into our every day, we gifted our every-faithful broody hen with a pair of commercially hatched chicks.

The day we brought them home.

It's been an interesting, and educational, adventure. Over the last year I've done reading on flock integration, incubation, broody hen adoption and eliminating bullies in the run. This winter when Fluffy started laying again, I promised her babies if we could get our schedules lined up. 

Emagene's class hatched a set of chicks with the help of an incubator and we fell in love with babies. We had chatted with the farmer about taking home a few, but my google searches told me I had a better chance of the hen accepting the babies if they were as young as possible. By the time the chicks left the classroom they were 2 weeks old and most likely would be seen by my hen as intruders and not her newly hatched babies.

Fortunately, the local feed store got in a new set of day old chicks the next week. They had all sorts of baby fowl, including geese which were adorable! We browsed the pens of separate breeds and then decided to just reach into the mixed breed pen and try our luck at whatever breeds came home with us.

We did a bit of breed comparasion while still at the feed store so we'd have an idea of what we got. I really think we have a silkie (the white and yellow one) and a bantum speckled Sussex. I say bantum because little Miss Hearts is half the size of Elsa (thank you, Frozen) while being super healthy.

Anyways- we brought them home and set them up for an overnight stay in our dining room while we watched them for signs of disease before introducing them to the flock. 

Everyone needed a chance to snuggle baby chicks!

The chicks were introduced to the furry animals who were told in no uncertain terms that if the chicks were tampered with, the furry ones would be in trouble. We've had no trouble with the cat or the dog who were both liking their lips when they first saw the chicks.

After a 24 hour observation period, our 5 day old chicks woke up under their new mother. After dark on Wednesday night, Pete and I snuck out with flashlights, moved the older hens to the shed, which had been set up as a secondary hen house. We then tucked the babies under Fluffy's wing, watching her reaction. She didn't flinch, peck at the babies or cluck grumpily. We took that as a good sign and removed 2 of her 3 eggs and went back to bed. If she changed her mind about the babies when she woke up, Emagene would be at school and I could make a secret run to the feed store and would just keep the replacement babies in the house for the next month. Fortunately, when I checked in the morning, Fluffy was showing the babies how to eat, drink and peck in the straw for treasures.

Piggyback rides came next

And while I watched, Fluffy dutifully let the babies peck at her face and experiment with the roosting bar while she waited to see what her final egg would do. We left her the egg as an incentive to stay broody and in the nest. On the off chance that removing the extra egg would cause her to be defensive instead of motherly, we erred on the side of caution and it's worked!

That first day, we kept the new family safely in the hen house and checked on them often. We also reassured the older girls who showed minimal signs of stress due to waking up and being moved to the shed in summer. We often kept them in the shed before the coup remodel and during winter and storms. 

The second day, we secretly removed the other egg and opened the run up to the older girls. I kept a screendoor on the hen house to minimize bullying opportunities but still provide the necessary "FaceTime" that makes flock integration more peaceful. Fluffy looked like any mother who had been waiting for a baby, finally had one and was ready to get back into the world. By day 3 of new motherhood she was gently coaxing the babies to the top of the ramp so she could go outside. 

Day 4, as the temperatures spiked a little. the chicks left the house and wondered around the coop. Fluffy kept them mostly between the fencing and the house or the hale bales where she could easily keep them safe from the bigger girls. When we fed treats to the big girls, we used their normal treating location but where careful to secretly give snacks to Fluffy, who needed to regain some weight. As a thank you, we got to watch her teach the chicks how to crack sunflower seeds, break up meal worms and she literally bit off small pieces of kale and fed them to the chicks. It was precious! Her clucking changes when she's about to teach something. She switches from a "Marco polo" call and response locating call to a quicker "come check out this cool thing you need to know" chitter. 

She also has a warning cluck when she's decided to get treats with the big girls. The babies will wait in the sidelines, out of pecking reach but within eyesight of momma bird.  Like i said, it's been an education adventure. Fluffy is a very capable mother. She tolerates Emagene being in the coup everyday, following the babies around, occasionally holding them or helping them back into the house when they miss the little jump at the top of the ramp and get disoriented. I'm hoping all the holding will help keep the hen raised chicks used to being handled, similar to human raised chickens.

It's been a week since we first brought the chicks home. Everyone is sleeping comfortably in the hen house. The chicks are taken on walks around the outside of the coup under the watchful and educational eye of their sweet momma. For the most part, the potential bullies haven't shown up. Fluffy was fairly upfront with them on the chicks' first day out of the hen house (under my careful supervision the first 3-4 times). Ferdy stared a little too long and Fluffs flared out her feathers and took a hard peck on Ferdy's back, driving her away. After that, Ferdy keeps her distance but continues to lunge at the cat whenever she feels necessary. 

Well, that's my experience with chicken fertility, spring, and the call to be outdoors. I did also make this new dress for Emagene

And she decorated this cake

And Aoife has learned to be gentle with animals.

And We're prepping for a dance recital, our first! We've also rearranged a room and are making plans to start the pool/waterpark rotation. It's been a great spring and we are counting down to summer (though not to the heat). 

What area of your life is proving fertile at the moment?

If you're thinking of letting a broody hen adopt chicks, here are some great online resources:

http://www.fresh-eggs-daily.com/2012/04/adding-to-established-flock-pullet.html?m=1

http://www.grit.com/animals/ten-secrets-to-a-successful-broody-hen-chick-adoption.aspx#axzz2yR9Dm85

Winter holiday countdown; the last days

Dec 22:

Attend community solstice gathering complete with mulled cider and gift exchange. 

Dec 23: playgroup Christmas party! And the never ending fairy play that accompanies awesome new gifts.

Spontaneous dinner party!

Dec 24: gingerbread house time! 

Aoife didn't get to play, but daddy added her house to his neighborhood while she did this: 

Then we baked cookies for Santa, read stories, hung stockings and opened the Christmas Eve gift that has been taunting Emagene for days. 

Merry Christmas! Hope you have a great day!

Winter Holiday countdown week 3

Dec 14: needing new ballet slippers requires a forced trip to a mall during holiday shopping season, run into Cowboy Santa at a mall bookstore 

which sends mom into an Internet shopping frenzy trying to find a toy version of this: 

(Green Arrow Car/Plane)

Side note: when Santa looks like one of your ballet classmates' father, it can be a little disconcerting. mostly causing stress that the plea for a batman toy might not reach Santa. Good thing he has email and can pass on all the wishes!

Dec 15: finish Aoife's stocking

Dec 16: make paper snowflakes

Dec 17: make this thing 

and because it suddenly was over 60 we cleaned like it was March!

Dec 18: paint the garden fence just because while listening to holiday music

Drink more cocoa.

Dec 19: attend a small Christmas celebration and play date, eat festive treats

Dec 20: look for lights as we drive around town running errands. Get horrible news and spend the rest of the night distracted by justice legue cartoons. And elves.

Dec 21: sing up the sun, make a holiday gift for our solstice gathering. Finally start my Last handmade for the season! Watch Mickey's once upon a christmas.

Winter Holiday Countdown week 2

Dec 7: work on stocking, finally watch Love Actually while Emagene and Daddy trek to corner store for TP.  listen to music while stringing popcorn for the birds.

Dec 8: trip to grocery store, wrap presents, make pie 

Day 9; listen to music while cleaning the kitchen, play outside and watch a mouse hunt for seeds after the chickens were tucked in for the night.

Dec10: ballet class, watch how the grinch stole Christmas. 

Dec 11: play date! listen to music while pretending to be Santa and leave "gifts" under the tree

Dec 12: do nothing holiday related unless, going to the pool, drinking choco and dressing like a unicorn count as festive

Dec 13: see Santa!