Here I am, 2 and 1/2 years later! Lots of things have happened, in the world and in my personal life. The biggest I'd say is that we no longer live on a Texas Homestead (which was really just a city plot 2 blocks south of the highway that separated the town from the wilderness and farm plots). We returned to Oregon a year ago. That's right, we have been enjoying our first home as homeowners for a year now. We bought a 100 year old house in a small town, walking distance to just about everything in the town. The house needed some immediate attention, and still needs lots of work, and so did my extended family. In the meantime, we homeschool the girls and love on the dog and the cat. We had added new chicks to our flock (half of which were enjoyed by Hawk) but then rehoused the girls with a friend before leaving Texas as moving the birds 2000 miles didn't seem worth the trouble. We have just started talking about adding some new feathered friends into the mix this next spring. Lots of construction plans in the near future.... Maybe I'll share some before and afters in the future. I have found dance again. The Mister is enjoying his new job (still flying planes) and the girls are as busy as ever dancing, riding horses, climbing on things, swimming, catching crawdads, etc.
To be honest, I paused working with this site because of the time commitment and my priorities had shifted to other things. In the back of my mind there was also a growing fear for my children's internet anonymity and safety. I am still hesitant to tell our stories in such an unguarded way as a blog, and so have focused on a heavily screened Instagram and Facebook account. But the storytelling! I miss the storytelling. I have never wanted to be a political writer or to write about things where I have to deal with internet trolls. So I paused. I wrote my stories in journals and to specific people on messenger and group texts. I have started escaping into the woods to dance and write poetry and reframe goddess myths in my own words. I have always enjoyed growing in private and, when i feel confident, inviting people to notice what I am doing now.
So, since I have come back here, I must have finished a breathing-in growth cycle (borrowing the idea from Waldorf educational theories) and am ready to breath out and interact with people in this way again. Or at least the interface of the blog-sphere. I have noticed I take less photos because I am sharing my life with the ones I missed so dearly while we were in Texas. Instead of needing to take photos to remember the stories so I can share them with lifelong Friends, Aunties and Grandparents, they are the ones involved in the memories. I am working to shift my habit and capture memories for the girls for later, when we want to look back and remember that silly afternoon at the museum/park/coffee shop with so-and-so and how different we all looked "back then."
I have some other deep thoughts and feeling just below the surface I want to share with all 12 of you who may find your way back to this blog. But I'm not quite ready to make those permanent additions to the inter webs just yet. Which always leads me to ask: Do my thoughts and feelings really need to be blasted all over the inter webs? Can sharing them face to face with a safe person or in my journal be enough? This space helped me through that rough part of transitioning to parenting two kids without much real life help, and now...what to make of this space? I have this place, how shall I use it??
Showing posts with label Life Story. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life Story. Show all posts
Saturday, November 4, 2017
Monday, April 22, 2013
seeds of thought
I was cleaning out my email inbox and found all these little nuggets of blog seeds that I had sent to myself from the my smart phone over the last year or so.
Emagene hates sweet potatos Loves music class! Grocery aisle
Her: 2 generations older than me, picking her trusted brands:
demonte and huntse
Me: picking my trusted organic brands: Muir Glen and Eden Same tomato-y outcome Birds- rain forest -spring Dog is antsy I'm antsy Just sitting and waiting 'nothing is impossible. The word itself says, 'I'm possible.'"
-audrey Hepburn
Right now march 26, 2012 I'm watching the washing blow in the wind Listening to the contented peeping of free ranging chicks Wearing freshly washed flip flops Not wearing shoes because they need to be washed again Amused by the ramblings of my 2-year old Watching the sun tea turn deep amber Waiting for news about the man's job Wondering how how many gallons are being pumped through the
sprinkler in the name of cooling,learning and over-watering
June 3, 2012
Look around you and see what excites you; explore that. What if everything excites me? Gardening, livestock, sustainably
using the land I live on, animation, theatre, lighting,
photography, traveling, doing nothing, doing everything,
dancing, connecting, yoga, sitting under trees, sitting
in trees, snuggling, painting,
12/18/2012
it seems that my inner mind is distracted refereeing battles.
My Self now and my Self 10 years ago are constantly waging war
as to which life style brought me the most fulfillment.
Nothin highlights inner struggles quite like a seasonal shift
into winter with its focus on the home hearth and self, the
passing of loved ones or a meteor shower. And I have all three
at my disposal tonight!
Ah! My self of ten years ago would scoff at my self now. Giving
up a room above a pub in a busy neighborhood of London for a cozy
house on the outskirts of town surrounded by chickens and my own
child. The me now wishes I had saved some of that money I spent on
fun and paid more toward student loan avoidment. The me now giggles
because it seems fairly standard for women entering their mid-30s
to write a letter to their 20-year old self. What would the me now
tell the me back then? Don't leave London! You'll never make it
back across the border! You'll get stuck in America! Maybe. I
may say smart things like keep up the focus. Give up the awesome
trip to spain to be the 3rd AD on that low budget film. Maybe. But
I think I would mostly say: Good job following your heart, living
your dreams, exploring what you had access to, and keep on going.
No regrets! Create learning opportunities and your perseption will
keep changing for the positive.
Monday, April 1, 2013
the inner workings of my mind, part3
A long time ago Pete and I decided that we didn't want to, and never were going to care about, dieting. We love to eat. We love to listen to our cravings and honor them. We believe in moderation and in the moderation of moderation itself. Sometimes overindulgence is a fabulous idea! Probably why Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday and we always insist on cooking even if we are eating at someone else's on the day. We may have some unknown strain of Italian in our blood for we live as though no one can be having a good time without food or drink in their hand. We eat dishes whose recipes originated all over the world. A few favorites are Pho Tai, Pho Ga, Greek Orzo Salad, Lasagna, Pad Thai, Ginger Green Beans, Bratwursts, BBQ chicken legs, Curried Lentil Soup, Dal, Lemingtons, Scones, Fish n Chips, Popcorn and Kale Chips.
We spend the majority of our money (after rent, utilities and Sallie Mae) on food. Entertainment is really at the bottom of our budget list. We get our rental books and videos from the library and maybe RedBox if we're desperate to catch up on something.
With this love of food comes our theory that Food is Fuel. The higher grade fuel you put into your body, the longer it will run.Why spend a fortune on medical bills when we can avoid them just by eating well? So our family plan of attack: Make as much of what we can from scratch, using organic ingredients whenever possible, avoiding GMOs and High Fructose Corn Syrup. We aim to consume edibles that are as close as is safe to when taken off the plant or away from the animal. We do buy packaged food. We live in a first world nation. Its incredibly hard to avoid all packaged food while living on a tiny budget. We pick and choose which condiments we are going to make, whether we have time this week to make granola or bread, do we feel confident in our hot sauce brewing abilities (the answer: not yet). When we do buy packaged, we aim for the products with the shortest ingredients list, involving words we can pronounce and/or identify their origins. If in doubt, throw it out! (or in this case, don't buy it in the first place). We go back and forth between being able to afford a co-op produce bag and being able to cope with a less then ideal food source. We aim to avoid companies we know have a partnership with Monsanto (which is most major brands, organic and not).
I know food sourcing and waste and all this hippie talk can be a touchy subject for some, so I would like to take a second a clarify that we are not perfect. We have been known to have a box of Oreos in the house, or indulge in some Ben and Jerry's or get take out that is most definitely loaded with MSG. But for 87.26% of the time, we spend a little extra money to get higher quality ingredients and hope to keep our doctor's visits limited to prenatal exams and well-child check ups. We are constantly learning how to combat early cold signals with teas and essential oils. We eat soup weekly and are extremely adamant about spending extra, for what Pete calls The Good Stuff, when it comes to our animal based consumption.
So there it is. My philosophy on food. Food is Fuel. Spend your money on healthy Body Fuel, stay out of the hospital, off meds and live a long, happy life eating!
Anybody want a beer? or tea? or this vegan galette I just made?
We spend the majority of our money (after rent, utilities and Sallie Mae) on food. Entertainment is really at the bottom of our budget list. We get our rental books and videos from the library and maybe RedBox if we're desperate to catch up on something.
With this love of food comes our theory that Food is Fuel. The higher grade fuel you put into your body, the longer it will run.Why spend a fortune on medical bills when we can avoid them just by eating well? So our family plan of attack: Make as much of what we can from scratch, using organic ingredients whenever possible, avoiding GMOs and High Fructose Corn Syrup. We aim to consume edibles that are as close as is safe to when taken off the plant or away from the animal. We do buy packaged food. We live in a first world nation. Its incredibly hard to avoid all packaged food while living on a tiny budget. We pick and choose which condiments we are going to make, whether we have time this week to make granola or bread, do we feel confident in our hot sauce brewing abilities (the answer: not yet). When we do buy packaged, we aim for the products with the shortest ingredients list, involving words we can pronounce and/or identify their origins. If in doubt, throw it out! (or in this case, don't buy it in the first place). We go back and forth between being able to afford a co-op produce bag and being able to cope with a less then ideal food source. We aim to avoid companies we know have a partnership with Monsanto (which is most major brands, organic and not).
I know food sourcing and waste and all this hippie talk can be a touchy subject for some, so I would like to take a second a clarify that we are not perfect. We have been known to have a box of Oreos in the house, or indulge in some Ben and Jerry's or get take out that is most definitely loaded with MSG. But for 87.26% of the time, we spend a little extra money to get higher quality ingredients and hope to keep our doctor's visits limited to prenatal exams and well-child check ups. We are constantly learning how to combat early cold signals with teas and essential oils. We eat soup weekly and are extremely adamant about spending extra, for what Pete calls The Good Stuff, when it comes to our animal based consumption.
So there it is. My philosophy on food. Food is Fuel. Spend your money on healthy Body Fuel, stay out of the hospital, off meds and live a long, happy life eating!
Anybody want a beer? or tea? or this vegan galette I just made?
Monday, February 18, 2013
inner workings of my brain, part 2
Last time I shared a tiny bit of my spiritual journey. (If you missed that post, you can see it here.) I started here because I believe that how one defines the mystical or spiritual element of life dictates how one views pretty much everything else. In short, I needed to share a piece of my foundation with you before I started sharing all the branches that make up my tree of life. To go into the details of my foundation would be like describing all the particles in soil. Its not necessarily an enjoyable, or helpful, read and should probably be limited to conversations over beer or on a shrink's sofa, either way keeping some things out of print.
That said, here is a tiny bit more.
I was homeschooled. Those of you in my age bracket understand the stereotype that came with that statement in the early 90s: socially awkward, quiet little church-mouse, overly protected and/or sheltered, etc. This stereotype, while not in itself is necessarily a negative, does not fairly fit all homeschoolers. It is nonetheless what most people I've encountered think of when they hear "homeschool." Fortunately, some of you in my age bracket are spending a great deal of time and energy changing that stereotype and considering - or doing- homeschooling for your own children. Because of this shift, homeschooling itself has changed. Multiple varieties of "doing school" have become the norm. While not everyone comprehends all aspects of each variety, the fact that homeschooling is discussed at large is a huge step forward from when I was teased about it as a kid.*
So with this new perspective, I've given up my vow of never homeschooling my kid in exchange for a dedication to reevaluate our options every year. Currently, I guess you could say we are "Unschooling." A regular week for us includes art projects, sewing projects, cooking, grocery shopping, chores, board games, reading, playdates, animal care, gardening and mickey's clubhouse. If I took the time to separate all this into government approved subject headings, as some states require homeschooling parents to do, we're covering all the basics of school curriculum. Once the weather warms up we'll get back in the pool and see if swimming lessons are needed. This kind of let's try it and see what happens mentality is the basic curiosity that we are all born with. I don't want to squash it by adding deadlines to learning just yet. So we take it one day, month, year at a time and do our best to be present, while thinking of the future, and see what happens. We ask a lot of questions and search out answers together. We spend too much time in front of the tv for a few days and then spend the next few days or weeks doing everything that crosses our path. From what I've read, that's fairly standard human behavior for first world homeschoolers.
Coupled with my spiritual belief that a specific religious expression doesn't work for everyone, Unschooling also believes that a set way of learning doesn't work for everyone. We all learn and remember the subjects we are interested in. Spending years grinding on subject matter because someone says it's important but it is not interesting is a disservice to children who are built to run around, explore, touch, smell and be thoroughly immersed in their curiosity. My goal is to keep this love of life alive in my child and give ourselves the freedom to admit when this approach to learning isn't working for us anymore. I assume that around the middle school years, when the overwhelming need to feel included in a peer group starts to surface, we may start looking into homeschool co-ops, reevaluate the happenings within the public (government run) school system, or really encouraging sports or fine arts classes. If I were to guess today what those arts and sports would be I would say guitar lessons, dance classes and swim team. But I'm open to interest shifts ;)
-------------------------------
If you're interested in learning more about Unschooling, pick up a book written by John Holt (Like this one) or the Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith.
You may also find this website interesting: http://www.holtgws.com/unschooling.html
For more on homeschooling in general check out this empowering overview The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child, by Linda Dobson.
* My sincere hope is that I did not offend anyone with my take on how I was stereotyped growing up. Homeschooling can and is for anyone who wants to make it work, no matter their view on life, opinion of proper public etiquette of children or religious affiliation. I am extremely grateful that this is no longer the picture that jumps to the forefront when the word "homeschooler" is thrown around as I spent a great deal of energy trying to "prove" myself as a outgoing, fun-loving, open-minded artist in a hugely middle-class Christian suburb. I was so adament that people knew the Real Me and not Me the Homeschooler that I often didn't tell people I was homeschooled to save myself the trouble of having to disprove the stereotype. That said, anyone can do anything, if they put their mind to it, including homeschooling your kiddos.
That said, here is a tiny bit more.
I was homeschooled. Those of you in my age bracket understand the stereotype that came with that statement in the early 90s: socially awkward, quiet little church-mouse, overly protected and/or sheltered, etc. This stereotype, while not in itself is necessarily a negative, does not fairly fit all homeschoolers. It is nonetheless what most people I've encountered think of when they hear "homeschool." Fortunately, some of you in my age bracket are spending a great deal of time and energy changing that stereotype and considering - or doing- homeschooling for your own children. Because of this shift, homeschooling itself has changed. Multiple varieties of "doing school" have become the norm. While not everyone comprehends all aspects of each variety, the fact that homeschooling is discussed at large is a huge step forward from when I was teased about it as a kid.*
So with this new perspective, I've given up my vow of never homeschooling my kid in exchange for a dedication to reevaluate our options every year. Currently, I guess you could say we are "Unschooling." A regular week for us includes art projects, sewing projects, cooking, grocery shopping, chores, board games, reading, playdates, animal care, gardening and mickey's clubhouse. If I took the time to separate all this into government approved subject headings, as some states require homeschooling parents to do, we're covering all the basics of school curriculum. Once the weather warms up we'll get back in the pool and see if swimming lessons are needed. This kind of let's try it and see what happens mentality is the basic curiosity that we are all born with. I don't want to squash it by adding deadlines to learning just yet. So we take it one day, month, year at a time and do our best to be present, while thinking of the future, and see what happens. We ask a lot of questions and search out answers together. We spend too much time in front of the tv for a few days and then spend the next few days or weeks doing everything that crosses our path. From what I've read, that's fairly standard human behavior for first world homeschoolers.
Coupled with my spiritual belief that a specific religious expression doesn't work for everyone, Unschooling also believes that a set way of learning doesn't work for everyone. We all learn and remember the subjects we are interested in. Spending years grinding on subject matter because someone says it's important but it is not interesting is a disservice to children who are built to run around, explore, touch, smell and be thoroughly immersed in their curiosity. My goal is to keep this love of life alive in my child and give ourselves the freedom to admit when this approach to learning isn't working for us anymore. I assume that around the middle school years, when the overwhelming need to feel included in a peer group starts to surface, we may start looking into homeschool co-ops, reevaluate the happenings within the public (government run) school system, or really encouraging sports or fine arts classes. If I were to guess today what those arts and sports would be I would say guitar lessons, dance classes and swim team. But I'm open to interest shifts ;)
-------------------------------
If you're interested in learning more about Unschooling, pick up a book written by John Holt (Like this one) or the Unschooling Handbook by Mary Griffith.
You may also find this website interesting: http://www.holtgws.com/unschooling.html
For more on homeschooling in general check out this empowering overview The First Year of Homeschooling Your Child, by Linda Dobson.
* My sincere hope is that I did not offend anyone with my take on how I was stereotyped growing up. Homeschooling can and is for anyone who wants to make it work, no matter their view on life, opinion of proper public etiquette of children or religious affiliation. I am extremely grateful that this is no longer the picture that jumps to the forefront when the word "homeschooler" is thrown around as I spent a great deal of energy trying to "prove" myself as a outgoing, fun-loving, open-minded artist in a hugely middle-class Christian suburb. I was so adament that people knew the Real Me and not Me the Homeschooler that I often didn't tell people I was homeschooled to save myself the trouble of having to disprove the stereotype. That said, anyone can do anything, if they put their mind to it, including homeschooling your kiddos.
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