Garden journal #1

We've been nurturing seeds and mulching beds, stirring compost and building fencing to keep the chickens and cats out. 

It's pretty ramshackle. But it seems to be working.

since its spring in Texas and we have a double growing season, we transplanted today.

Now we test the fence against the chickens and cats...

What's going on in your garden? Have you started yet?

Temporary Permanence

It's spring. I'm not sure about your lifestyle, but around here spring is the time to plant seeds, establish roots, mend buildings. A time to make repairs from winter and early spring storms and make plans to better survive the next ones. If we owned our property it would be a time of making our connection with our land a little more secure, Tweaking how we live together from season to season. 

Unfortunately, we do not own our space. We are borrowing it from a wonderful human being who lets us live how we want (in accordance with local laws) in exchange for a small sum of money. But each spring I live somewhere not completely my sole responsibility, I am reminded of the permanent state of temporary that we are living in. Not the physical "temporary" that death finds us all, but more a sense of this is not my final habitat, this is not the place where I will grow old. But I continue to try to live each day as if this is my last. I pretend this is my final habitat and try to establish a garden to feed us in the winter, though I am not guaranteed to live in this house when winter comes. We make connections in our community, and foster them wholeheartedly, knowing the next season could very well see us seeking new footholds in a different community. 

Honestly, this is an emotionally exhausting existence! Swinging between a temporary state of permanence and a permanent state of temporary. I know the cliche that everything changes and the only constant is change. I am ready to stop moving house, but I am also ready to leave this house. I want to be with My People, but I have great people here who have become My People. Without these connections, we would not be happy and thriving.

The Stirrings of Spring

You don't mean for it to happen. You move away from a place that doesn't fit politically to place that seems promising but turns out just fits wrong in different areas. And then you start reminiscing. It doesn't help that the little baby is growing and having different experiences than the first due simply to living conditions. It also doesn't help that i fell in love with spring while living in tulsa. Perhaps I loved spring because, during what restaurant owners know as happy hour, in the lingering afternoon sun, when everything was green for the only time of year (the rest of the year it was either sunburnt, dehydrated or covered in snow) the weather resembles Oregon (my soul home) on a late afternoon in July (my favorite time of year). So, naturally, when this seasons starts to show itself a list of things I miss from seasons past come to mind. Here is my top ten things I miss about Tulsa, Oklahoma

1: cherry street. We lived in this neighborhood. Old growth trees. A city -maintained duck pond within walking distance year round. Neighbors who stopped to chat when they were out walking their dogs. Historic homes. Booming businesses, again walking distance from my front door.

2: sidewalks. The older neighbors have sidewalks (same here). But unlike denton, we could afford to live in the noeghborhood with sidewalks and therefore could teach Emagene road safety very early. Without sidewalks, it is hard to explain that cars drive in the street and people walk on the sidewalks. We each have our own space and staying in our space can greater guarantee our safety when distracted by the butterflies, lighting bugs, and wildflowers. Granted some people in Tulsa still had trouble understanding what the purpose of a sidewalk was and would stop traffic because they were strolling down the middle of a street with sidewalks available on each side, but i'm choosing to overlook that flaw today. Besides whenever I think of them I am reminded of a conversation I had on this topic with an old timer at work. His response, as always, was "that really chaps my hide when people do that!" (I love jim!) Which moves me on to...

3: my job: I worked in live theatre with a bunch of characters that became family. As with every family, there are a handful of members you try to avoid and others you embrace with joy every time there is a reunion. But not only did the people make the job interesting and something that was looked forward to, the job itself was ever-changing yet the same. Predictable in that everyday we ran cable, plugged things in, fixed something broken, used a drill, climbed something, hammered something and made a lot of noise while suffering from drinking bad coffee. It was ever-changing in that the artists were always different, the production lay out would be unique from the gig before. And when the audience was added the ability to stay on your toes and make the magic happen on time and safely added another level of excitement that cannot be attained sitting around watching the children eat leaves.

4; my circle of spiritual women: I don't really think this one needs much explanation. Now don't get me wrong, I have met some amazing spiritual women in every place I've lived and have stayed in contact with most of them. This group is special due to the open arms that helped me battle home sicknesses and depression while reminding me to stop and let the children eat leaves. I am forever grateful!

5: the first time moms I met through yoga and a holistic support group. Nothing can compare to the deep connections made in moments of vulnerability. There is no place quite as vulnerable as the rawness of first time motherhood! Having a network of like-minded women in the same place in life was healing, helpful, comforting and watching our babies interact was nothing less than magical!

6: my proximity to things: Woodward park, coffee shops, restaurants, zoo, children's museum, Whole Foods. While DFW has all these things, many require over an hour drive and the chance of being stuck in horrendous traffic! In Tulsa, I could walk to most things, afford all of it, and make it back home before the hunger meltdowns moved in.

7: Medicare and other open minded health programs you would be surprised to find in the reddest state imaginable

8: the fire of potential that was sweeping the city. Life was just retuning to downtown. Young entrepreneurs were taking over the city and therefore the city was a buzz of possibilities to be tried, owned, and remodeled. New life was entering the downtown arts districts at an infectiously rapid pace. In the 3+ years we lived there, downtown went from dead and scary after 5 to alive and bumping.

9: my front porch. Classic, Deep South porch. Morning sun, afternoon shade. Ceiling fan. Big swing. You get the idea.

10: and lastly, the novelties and local   businesses. joe Momma's Thai chicken pizza. Jobots iced mochas. Dilly Deli's Michael Roy sandwich, the American Theatre Company, Tulsa Ballet Theatre and staff, Cainn's Ballroom, Cherry Street Farmer's Market, May Fest, I Am festival, and so many more! 

If you plan to drive across country, Tulsa should be a stop on your adventure. I plan on taking the girls on Route 66 one season when they'll get something "educational" out of it. Tulsa will be one of the longer stops on our journey.

the power of words

The other day at a playground a young girl, probably about 4, announced she needed to use the facilities. She said it in such a way that led me to believe she was recently toilet trained. Her face showed a mixture of shock, awe, and complete terror that had her caregiver responding in a near panic. But what struck me was the verbal response from her caregiver: "Squeeze your legs together and let's run." How confusing! Squeezing ones legs together will in no way guarantee the activation of the pelvic floor muscles that are used to stop the flow of urine. And how can this girl run while pressing her thighs together? If she tried she'd most likely end up looking like Bert from Mary Poppins doing his penguin dance (view the dance here) and hurrying would be impossible. No wonder this sweet child looked panicked!  She was sure to fail if she tried to follow those instructions! I assume she figured out how to politely disobey and focus on getting to the loo because a few minutes later they returned to the playground in the same clothing.

So why am I sharing this story? Because it reminded me of the power of words. Especially as a parent of small children, I believe how you phrase instructions or requests is important for success. My research, of exactly one child, suggests that children want to please their caregivers (this finding is reinforced by reading books on child development). If the child doesn't understand the words, how can they complete the task? If poor grammar is used, or conflicting actions are asked of them, or they don't understand what the task is, I believe they panic a little. 

Now don't get me wrong, I do not believe this little girl's caregiver was intentionally setting her up to fail. In fact, she looked a little panicked too, as most parents of newly potty-trained kids do when they take their littles out in public for the first few diapers-free weeks. The look on her face suggested she said the first helpful bit of encouragement that came to her as she scanned the area for the closest toilet - which at this park is usually behind a big tree.

So what do I want you to walk away from this blog thinking? Think before you speak. It really is as simple as your mom told you it would be. Is what you're about to say helpful? Is it clear? Loving? Necessary? Kind? Positive? Gentle guidance? What reaction am I hoping to get from my words? Is the reaction helpful? or will be it stained with negativity from the delivery of my thoughts?

And I am saying this as much to myself as I am to anyone reading this. What you say, and how you say it, will bring about results. Be sure your are communicating in a way to ensure you get the results you desire. Yelling will ensure action, but will it be the action you wish, and will it be sprinkled with love or with disdain and fear? Are your instructions clear or are they setting up your listener for confusion and failure?

Personally, I am working to remind myself to encourage positive communication in my house, hoping to foster action and cooperation based on love and mutual respect rather than fear. Doing this means double checking my words and tone when requests aren't fulfilled. Was I unclear? Was I harsh? Did I yell? If I answer yes to any of these questions, I have not acted in line with my goal of loving communication. I must acknowledge my wrongdoings, apologize, and restate my request in a loving manner.

I have noticed when I am dedicated to this practice, my family responds. Manners ooze from my 3-year old, my husband thanks me for cooking, and we all laugh more. We aren't wasting energy yelling about miscommunication. When I'm not dedicated to this personal awareness - such as when I'm sleep deprived by the nightly screaming of a seemingly colicky newborn - negativity slips in through the cracks, requests begin to get ignored and my family members stop being polite to each other.

Be the change you want to see, in this case, in your house

This is just my household. I cannot vouch for this in your household. But I can say that it never hurts anyone to speak with extra love, respect and kindness.

New dresses

It was warm last week, just for a couple of days, and this momma got a touch of Spring Fever. Naturally, I decided crafting was way more interesting than the spring cleaning that actually needed to get done.

Photo courtesy of Emagene

With a bit of help from Mr Kitty I managed to get a few things off the machine rather quickly.

 

Emagene's dress, which twirls nicely, is Simplicity pattern 6204 and was comfortably simple to sew. I even managed a zipper without my zipper foot!  (I have a box of extra feet and bits but they've been used to keep little hands because between the helpful moments of pushing the backstittch button and I do believe some crucial parts to fancy feet have gone missing.)

 

Aoife's dress was a little something I made up based on one those free patterns you can get at JoAnn's while you're waiting  your turn at the cutting counter. The original pattern consisted of sewing two bandannas together and adding shoulder ties. I just measured my child and cut fabric to fit her and then followed the pattern's sewing instructions for armhole placement and called it good.

 She seems to like it.

Unschooling with Disney

*this post is in no way sponsored or endorsed by Disney, Prima Princesa, Marvel, or the Olympics. 

Completely by accident we have found ourselves doing unit studies. Its a homeschooling term that other homeschooling families should recognize. Basically we have spent an amount of time/days focused on a theme of study. 

Emagene has been collecting Disney princesses and fairies for a while now and recently began asking about some of the stories with which she was less familiar. We tell her what we remembered while waiting for the DVD to be found at the library. Then we watch the movie or read the book and end up finding other things to do that fit the theme. None of it pre-determined.

For example, she started with Sleeping Beauty. We read the story, watched the Disney film, and stumbled upon a Prima Princesa production at the library. These productions (for there are more than one) are shortened, narrated versions of the orignial ballets put together by the American Ballet Academy and various ballet companies around the world. They break up the show by teaching easy ballet steps to the viewers. So we easily immersed ourselves in the world of Aurora and pointed out the differences and similarities between the two versions of the story. During the midst of this obsession, we visited the Modern Art Museum of Fort Worth's education program called Wonderful Wednesdays (link here) and our project happened to feature a photo of a pas de duex (dance for two). Everything swirled into a few weeks of dance, art, doll play and various other ways of storytelling. 

After a short break to focus on the math skills highlighted in Mickey Mouse clubhouse, next up was Ariel. We've held off on this video until now due to Emagene's sensitivity to 'bad guys'. She read the story with us a few times and seemed prepped for the creepiness of Ursula. After we watched the film we discovered that the cooperative preschool we are apart of was beginning a unit on under the sea. How more perfect then was a requested trip to the Children's Aquarium! We learned about sea turtles and saw week old baby sharks, and freshly laid shark eggs.

After 10 days of being sucked into the world of mermaids, Aquaman and stingrays, Jungle Book appeared in our mailbox, just days before a pre-planned trip to the Dallas Zoo. Naturally, when we discovered the menu page of Jungle Book 2 simulates a Balinese shadow puppet play, we spent a great deal of time cutting shapes and back lighting them against a white sheet. This lead to noticing what happens to the shadows when the shapes are held close to the sheet or closer to the light.

In the middle of all this we spent a lot of time with the Olympics playing in the background and our world map close by. We found counties during the opening ceremony (until she fell asleep after the first 10 counties), watched her discover snowboarding, and notice how figure skating is similar to ballet. Since we took her ice skating over thanksgiving, she remembers how hard staying on your feet is and was in awe of anyone being able to jump or spin. 

And that friends is real unschooling. None of this was planned, other than meeting friends at the zoo or randomly committing ourselves to community activities with no thought of connecting dots, yet it all fell together. If you look close, we've talked about and tried fine arts (dance, music, painting, puppetry), early literature development (reading and storytelling in a number of ways), natural science (playing with light), zoology (reading plaques at the zoo and listening to keeper talks) marine science (again reading plaques and chatting with the keepers -theres a batch of sharks eggs due to hatch out in 2 weeks for those interested), fine motor skill development (cutting the shadow puppets, painting), physical education (dance, walking, running down sidewalks, climbing), world culture (Olympics and shadow puppets), current events (Olympics), and geography. I think most of these subjects are a little advanced for preschool, but only when you put a label on either the subject or the grade level. Otherwise, it was a over a month of just fostering curiosity and following the child's interest. 

The last few weeks

Let me start out by saying hello! I know I've been a tad quieter than usual around here. I would apologize, but I am thoroughly enjoying my less plugged in life! I have been deeply invested in real life, and I managed to photograph some of it for you. So, let's get started with the journey that has been February.

 

I am so completely surrounded by cuteness that it is nearly impossible to get work done. See that needlepoint project? Yeah, that was intended to be a christmas present. How can a momma do any stitches with a cat batting at her hand, or all those rolls begging to be kissed?

 

It hailed pretty good one day and Emagene was so desperate for snow i swear she put on her pants and worked some magic because a week later,

  

It snowed! Just enough to hault the finishing touches on the chicken yard, but not too soon that we couldn't move them into their new home.

Naturally we've kept on dancing.

 

 

Started school, 

 

prepped for v-day,

 

Made ice cream at the libtrary with liquid nitrogen,

 

and visited the Modrn Art Museum in Fort Worth for their education/outreach program.

We've made brownies,

Slept late, 

Played with trains,

Enjoyed warm weather with a sprinkling of allergies,

And sewed a purple dress just because.

It really is amazing all the little things that can squeeze into a month, fill it up with goodness and leave you anticipating the next month of adventures! Around here, that starts with the celebration of a birthday! This time after the closing ceremony of the Olympics instead of during.