Thursday, January 12, 2012

Anti-Goals

When I was younger, life was a little more black and white. There were things you did because they were expected of you or because that was just how it was done. And things you didn't do, for the same reasons. As I got older, I tested some of these Do's and Don'ts and, in some cases, found easier, better for me ways to do some of them. Some Don'ts became Always and some Do's became Nevers. During this learning process I also rediscovered that if I put any energy toward something, I could usually accomplish it. I wanted on the dance team, so i did the work, and made it. I wanted decent marks on the SAT, it happened. I wanted my own car, it manifested. I found 100 pennies when I needed gas money, i wanted an A on a test, or time for a coffee date. And so on. However, I have also since rediscovered that energy put toward something - and not all 'somethings' for that matter- necessarily encourages a positive outcome. One can still actualize the 'goal,' or rather the 'anti-goal.' I define 'anti-goal' as a goal with a negative twist. Self-assured statements that usually start with 'I will never...' or 'I am completely avoiding...' this kinda thing goes along with Murphy's Law; 'Anything that can go wrong will.' or 'careful what you wish for.' The easiest way to explain this idea: you have a thought. In this analogy let's say your thought is to never eat 'fast food.' then you get called out on an emergency road trip, late at night, without having a chance to eat and all that's open are drive-thrus. It's either 'fast food' or starve. In some cases, one's will is strong enough to pull through and 'stick to our guns' (note to self: research origination of that catch phrase). But most athletic gyms with a membership will agree that the majority of us suck at follow through when things get a little tough. Some examples of anti-goal realization from my life:I will never smoke! Anything. Ever! Failed miserably in college. Smoked a lot of things in the last ten years. I won't drink til I'm 21! Managed to make it to 20.75... And still love a good beverage at the end of a hard day.I don't want to ever get married! It's just the governments way of getting involved in every aspect of our lives! Met a guy. Lived together for a while. Got married. Still married. Still living together. Still happy. (I don't call him my husband very often though. That word is associated with breeding sheep!)I will never have kids. But I'll be the coolest aunt ever!None of my sisters have kids. I'm the only one. So far. I can still be the coolest aunt someday!I will NEVER live in Oklahoma! *cough* see where I'm going here?Most things I said Never to have actualized. Once I realized this trend, I decided it was time to change the way I spoke. I now do my best to say, I would prefer to live in Oregon, or England. Maybe we'll have one more kid. I would like to raise chickens, eat a more vegetarian diet, let my daughter decide if she wants to smoke instead of forcing her to do it second hand. Things like that.What are some ways you have be motivationally creative with yourself?

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