Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Conversations with my 3-year old

 The sound bites of childhood need a little nod from time to time. Here are some gems. Enjoy!

April 24
Her: Daddy has 2 red spots on his body.
Me: Where? On his face?
Her: No. Right there and right there.
Me: Oh you mean his nipples.
Her: *Confused looked*
Me: Daddies have nipples too. They don't make milk so he won't get breasts. Only mommies make milk for their babies
Her: He still needs a shirt.

An early morning in May sometime:
Hi minar (Artemis). * giggle*  let's go find my mommy
*Jingle to living room/pause*
You know where my momma is?
*Jingle into my room*
Hi! Suns up! 

Sometime over the summer
As we watch a waterbirth video
Her: is that where the baby comes out? Out your bottom? Not your belly button?
Me: yup. Do you want to be there when it happens?
Her: *starry eyed* yeah!

Nov 4
Get me outta here!
You want out of the car right now?
You want to walk the rest of the way home?
By yourself?
No, you come with me?
How is the car going to get home? And all our groceries?
Oh..... Where's daddy?
At home with Aoife.
On Juno?
Yup. On Juno. Guess what street I just turned down?
Yup. Can you see our house yet?
Yup ... Get me outta here!

Nov 11
Me: What do those nerds taste like?
Her: Like strawberries.... And magic!

Dec 10
Her: you be this really bad guy
Me: Why is he a really bad guy?
Her: Cuz he steals people's baby's and kills them.
Me: .... Yeah. That does make him a really bad guy. He should go to jail where he can't have any fun.
* nonchalantly tosses guy into storage bin and moves on.*

Me: "I lose!"
Her: "But we're not racing."
Me: "You can lose at other things. Like challenges and games. For instances, in the battle to keep this closet clean, I lose! Look at it! Its a mess! i don't even know where to start to clean it!"
She points at the cooler which I had just chucked in there. "Right there."

Her: momma you wanna Hold your baby?
Me: I am. I'm nursing my baby.
Her: no that's my baby, this is your baby (holds up herdoll she's had forever).
Me: I thought that was your baby.
Her: no baby aoife is my baby.
Me: baby aoife is my baby too.
Her, casually: no this is you baby. 
Me: so the baby I grew in my belly isn't my baby. It's your?
Her: and daddy's.

Jan 28
We were eating a stirfry and she politely asked, "Chopsticks pawease." We get her a pair and she very nonchallantly asks, "How do you use these things?"

Prince fill-pup has become prince Phillip again, only now they sing " once EEpon a bween"

Now that she's four the game has changed slightly. Last night we lit a fire outside and watched a lighting display. Naturally, this brought out her creative side. Suddenly, we were "playing dress up" and I was Cinderella.
As my step-mother she said: your chores today are 
1 (counting on her fingers) sweep the floor
2 give lucifer a bath
3 give a bath to yourself
4 blow your noods (nose)
5 turn off the chrimpsus lights (the white lights that hang on our back deck)
6 turn off the fire
7 turn off the lights (I assume she meant indoors)
8 blow on the fire
9 and 10 I forget because I was laughing too hard and trying to remember the first 8!

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